


Juneau

by Juliette1713



Category: Northern Exposure
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-07 07:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17361314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juliette1713/pseuds/Juliette1713
Summary: What if it really did happen in Juneau...





	Juneau

Joel raised his hand to knock quietly on Maggie's closed door, feeling excited and nervous all at once. They'd been doing this dance for years now, and all of a sudden and without any warning, he was quite literally standing on the threshold of taking a giant leap forward with her.

Well, not without any warning. Looking back on this last year, things had clearly been hurtling this direction. There'd been flashes between them - their kiss in the Brick's kitchen, her jealousy over Elaine's sudden reappearance, their dance together after Rick's death, even back on that night with Soapy's bequested wine - something was there between them. Even so, they'd seemed miles away from anything advancing. The more everything seemed to revolve around each other, the more each tried to prove nothing would happen. Just this morning, he'd been pretty sure she'd slept with that Dr. Paul character she'd brought up to their suite. He'd had no question she'd been doing it to make him jealous, but he'd been certain she'd gone through with it all the same. And he *was* jealous. Over nothing, as it turned out.

And now here he stood outside her bedroom, waiting for...well, there was almost no question where this was headed. If her words weren't signal enough of her intentions, that kiss sure had been. More than anything - almost more than sex - he wanted to finish that kiss. 

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing right now. She told him 'hold that thought' and to find her again in a moment, shutting her door. He'd used the time to down the rest of his champagne, freshen his breath and change into his hotel bathrobe but was questioning his outfit now, having caught sight of himself in it in the mirror. As he moved to knock, he looked down at himself and realized he still had dark socks on. That wasn't exactly the most attractive visual so he slipped them off quickly and tossed them aside. Maybe he should have stayed dressed. He knocked quietly on her door before letting his brain talk him out of it again.

He'd never done anything like this before. Sex, he'd had, sure, but with his longtime girlfriend - the woman he'd first had sex with. The woman he thought he was going to marry. That was comfortable, predictable, and with clearly defined rules and behaviors. With Maggie? He had no fucking idea whatsoever - what she liked, what she expected, what this meant. He'd tried his damndest to get her to tell him what doing this was to her...and yet he stood here still, on the brink of something he didn't understand. Was he about to have a one-night stand, start a committed relationship, or add sex to an already fraught and complicated quasi-friendship?

To be fair, he wasn't yet sure what he wanted either, other than sex. On paper, a relationship with Maggie wouldn't work, with as much as they argued and as little as they outwardly had in common. But, they'd spent a lot of time together. Comfortable, even enjoyable time - they had plenty to talk about and, despite totally different world views, it was fast emerging that they were actually very similar people. But while that made for easy evenings together - when they weren't flirting by fighting - what did that portend for a relationship? He couldn't possibly say. 

Maybe he wouldn't have to - she wasn't answering his knock. He suddenly started to worry this was some trick of hers - get him thinking that they'd sleep together, only to humiliate him in some way. He took a step back from the door, rethinking his decision to do any of this. Then again, there was no way she faked that kiss...

\-----

On the other side of the door, Maggie had changed, too, into her robe and a matching bra and panty set. Her mother's voice, worryingly enough, rang in her ears about "only getting one chance to make a good first impression". She doubted her mother had meant dressing for sex when she'd said that. Maggie realized, as she touched up the small amount of mascara she'd started wearing lately, that she was actually worried about Joel - what he was going to think. Which was also disconcerting. But a little exciting, too.

She'd feigned being more tired than she really felt. Ever since she'd come back up to the room - hoping against hope that she'd find Fleischman alone like she had - she'd been operating mostly on adrenaline. They'd bickered and flirted on their flight into Juneau. He'd prattled nonstop about his opportunity to finally mingle with people more befitting his perceived social stature, so she responded with finding every uneven bit of air in southern Alaska to traverse so he'd squirm. They always knew how to get right to each other's insecurities and fears.

Upon arrival, they'd been unexpectedly thrown into sharing a hotel room. Suddenly, three hours of close proximity was going to expand into three days' worth of it, and in a much more intimate setting. Standing there at check in, he'd whined and protested about her presence effectively preventing him from sowing any wild oats. She realized this was going to be a turning point for them. Not just because they'd be in the same room, and not just because their self-control was dwarfed by their sexual tension, but because the shared room called both of their bluffs. 

Joel would now be expected to actually follow through with his much-referenced sexual escapades or have him be revealed for the embellisher he was. And Maggie would have to actually find something to do for two days, having talked up her busy schedule and desire to see Juneau and be anywhere but with Joel. For all their bragging, both had intended to spend most of their time alone in the rooms. Doing so now would reveal them for the people they really were and to the person they least wanted to let in on that secret.

They'd had a brief but sexually charged moment when he zipped her dress and she'd straightened his tie - one they both studiously ignored. Afterwards, Maggie had gone out to Les Mis and struggled to find a follow up activity. Figuring Joel would still be at a conference social event, she decided to head back to the hotel. Unfortunately, the social event was on full display there in the bar, complete with Joel looking cozy with a woman she'd never seen before. Until that moment, she'd assumed he was all talk. She thought she knew him well enough to know he was simply not wired for one night stands. If he'd been doing that to spite her, well, two could play at that game.

So she'd turned on her heel and ran smack into Dr. Paul. Dr. Paul, who'd looked her up and down and eagerly suggested they adjourn to what turned out to be a slightly seedier bar next door. Dr. Paul, who'd slid his wedding band into his pocket as they walked, leaving behind a faint but telltale indentation and slight tanline. Dr. Paul who, with 4 drinks in her in quick succession, was decent enough looking and would be adequate to even up the score and piss Joel off coming out of her room the next morning. Except when she tumbled with Paul into their shared room, she'd found Joel alone. She'd had to revamp her plan and spend the rest of the evening out with a still hopeful but ultimately disappointed Dr. Paul.

Joel's jealousy was palpable the next morning, and even moreso when she told him she saw it. And it was incredibly endearing to her. She decided then that she'd spend tonight in, hoping she'd catch him doing the same. Sure enough, she came back to the room midway through the cocktail hour he'd said three times he'd be at until "late." Just like last night, though, he'd called it an early night. Unlike last night, he dropped his act and didn't even bother to pretend to be happy about it. 

She'd come back there specifically to spend the evening with him, of course, but couldn't bring herself to say so straight out. She hinted - strongly - but he didn't understand it at first, wary as always of her. She next asked him to dinner and then felt self-conscious when he hadn't assented immediately. But he was quick to try to calm her down and keep the option on the table.

As they talked about where to go, something happened. He'd reached past her for his coat and leaned further in than she'd expected. Instinctively, she'd looked down to his lips, which made his gaze drop to hers as well. Before she knew it, he'd leaned the rest of the way in and softly, tentatively pressed his lips to hers. She never expected him to be the one to make the first move.

True to his nature though, Joel was also the one to pull back first. He tried to give her an out - the chance to blame being exhausted. But she was wide awake now and in no mood to stop what they'd started. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a kiss again, only to have him stop them a second time and ask her if she was serious. A fair question, given the dance they'd been doing all these years. If he'd been looking for an out himself, she figured she'd give him one by implying a one right stand was on the table. If he wanted more, they could deal with it in the morning. 

That third kiss was far from tentative. It was insistent, increasingly urgent, and, she was surprised to find, loaded with emotion. So she was the one to pull back this time. She figured she'd give him one more chance to back out, and her the chance to collect herself if he didn't. She'd been right - Joel was obviously not a one night stand guy, and that kiss did not translate to this being a one-time thing. So if they took that next step, he'd expect a relationship. Or something resembling one. She wasn't entirely sure how that would work. But it wasn't entirely out of the question when she heard a quiet knock on the other side of her door. And she really wanted to finish that kiss. 

\-----

Joel's uncertainty got the better of him again, and moved to take another step back when Maggie's door clicked open. 

"O'Connell..." he started, intending to tell her it was late and they'd better not. But then he saw her. She'd changed into her robe like he had, but it looked much, much better on her. It wasn't just her state of undress - her cheeks were pink, lips parted, and eyes - usually a pale green - were dark and locked on his through the door's narrow opening. There was no mistaking what she wanted from the look on her face.

"Yeah?" She breathed, opening the door further, keeping her hand on it as the doorway slowly opened to frame her. Her tongue darted out to moisten her lower lip, which she then then bit nervously.

He watched her teeth move against her lip - the one that, minutes ago, was pressed to his. He'd noticed her lips the day they'd met and struggled to shake them from his consciousness since. "Well, I just...then...we...so..." God, he thought, I've forgotten how to speak English.

She took a step forward, releasing her lip, and still locking eyes with him. She was nervous, too - ever so slightly, blink-and-you'd-miss-it nervous - but he finally saw it reflected in her eyes. That made him feel a little less nervous himself, watching her determination not to let it show, stay in control of the situation. "You just...what?" She stopped, chest touching his, her chin an inch from his. She tugged on the belt of his robe to pull him closer and the knot fell open, revealing him standing in just boxers underneath. 

He felt immediately nervous again - and self-conscious, like he should have stayed dressed, even despite her being similarly clad. Presumably. "Sorry," he mumbled.

She smiled, a fond and genuine smile, and appeared to relax some herself, "Fleischman. What for?"

"I wasn't sure what to wear - or not wear - so I...I don't know, I split the difference. Clothed but not. This okay?"

"Yeah. You're definitely not overdressed for the occasion." She'd relaxed enough to have a teasing smile tug at the corners of her mouth. "Are you nervous or something?"

"No...Well, yeah. Are you?"

"I was. I'm not now." She put her right hand to his chest and her left along his side, sliding it along his skin underneath his robe, curling her fingers around to rest against his lower back. 

He swallowed hard in response to the close contact. "Now what?"

"If I have to explain it, this is going to be pretty disappointing for both of us..." She still had a teasing grin.

"I didn't mean..."

"I know." Her face was serious again. "I know what you're thinking about, too. Worried about. I know you can't just do this if it doesn't mean anything. But I can't stop and analyze this to death right now. So can we make a deal? Like your outfit - half naked, half not. I don't completely know what this means to me. But it absolutely means something. Can that be enough for right now?"

"Yeah. It can." And he meant it. For the first time in his life, he felt okay taking a first step without being able to see more than a few steps further. He felt something for Maggie and she apparently for him, and he felt certain they'd figure the rest out later.

"Okay, then..." She leaned in close, her lips lightly brushing against his. "...Fleischman?"

"Yeah?"

"You can stop holding that thought now."

He touched his lips to hers again and wrapped his arms around her. Inside his robe, Maggie slid the hand on his chest up to his shoulder and pulled the hand on his side further around his back, pulling him towards her. He responded by deepening their kiss.

After a minute or so, he pulled back to look at her again, wanting once more to ask her if she was sure. But she beat him to talking.

"Yes, I'm sure. Don't ask again. And stop being so nervous. You're a great kisser." She pulled him gently backwards towards the bed.

He gave her a surprised half smile. "Really?" She never complimented him.

She murmured an affirmative "hmmm," and his eyes lit up more before looking down at her lips and leaning back in. He kissed her for another few seconds before she asked, against his lips, "No one's ever told you that before?"

He chuckled as he pulled back, looking self-conscious. "No." He leaned in to kiss her back by her ear and murmured against her skin, "I think Elaine hated how I kissed. To be honest." 

The backs of her legs hit the bed, stopping her movement. His momentum carried him against her. "Really? And you asked her to marry you anyway...why?"

"I don't know. Seemed like the right thing to do at the time."

"You're such a pushover, Fleischman." She pushed the robe back and off his shoulders, letting it pool behind his ankles on the floor. She watched him swallow nervously again. Without breaking eye contact, she untied the sash of her robe, opened it, and slid it off her shoulders, letting it fall onto the bed behind her. His gaze moved slowly down her body before meeting her eyes again.

"Wow. We're really gonna do this, aren't we?"

She pressed her lips against his in response and pulled him with her to sit next to sit along the edge of the bed. Each kiss was becoming less and less timid. As they kissed, she nudged him onto his back, moving to hover over him, leaning to balance on her forearms and knees. 

He interjected a question, sounding unsure. "So...how do we..."

"Fleischman...Oh please tell me you've done this before."

"Well, yeah. But not with you. And not in a while. So. I need to know what you, uh, like? You know."

"What I like?" 

"Yeah. You know. All of it. Pacing. Positions. How gentle or, er, not you want me to..." He cringed, hearing himself and seeing her reaction. He'd only ever slept with Elaine and consequently had no idea how consenting adults exchanged this sort of information. It was becoming increasingly obvious, though, that this wasn't how.

"Really?" She sounded incredulous. "You know what I like, Fleischman? I like having sex without being asked twenty questions as I go along."

He looked contrite. "I just want this to be good for you. For both of us...if we don't talk about what you want, how should I..."

She leaned down to kiss his neck, cutting him off as he flailed for the rest of his wording. "Why don't you just figure it out, give it your best try, and I'll let you know if it's not working. Okay?" 

"Okay. I mean, I can try to guess based on what I know about you. I mean, psychologically, you're really pushy and bossy and take charge which means you probably..." He trailed off as she pulled back and gave him an irritated look from above. "What?"

"I can tell you right now, you playing armchair psychologist while we're both in bed and down to our underwear is the diametric opposite of hot."

"Sorry."

"And 'bossy'? What made you think that was a smart thing to say in this context? What the hell does that have to do with how I like to have sex? I'm pretty sure you don't know the first thing about me...in bed or otherwise." She'd now pulled back to sit on her heels, still straddling him, scowling ever so slightly.

He could have kicked himself for screwing up what was possibly his first and only chance with her. He'd been trying to be polite. Gentlemanly, if that adjective could even be used in this situation.

"Oh come on. I don't have to ask a bunch of questions - I just didn't want to do something you didn't like. I know how much you hate when people push you around, O'Connell. Especially me."

It was subtle, but he saw it - the quirk of her eyebrow and her lips parting ever so slightly. In an instant, he knew exactly what Maggie wanted and what she liked.

\-----

Before she realized what was happening, he'd flipped them over so that she was underneath him. He was now above her and kissing her hard, catching the gasp escaping her lips as he did. He reached around her with his left hand and unclasped her bra with one hand, immediately slipping his right under the front to gently squeeze and cup her breast. His left moved to her hair to pull it gently, angling her chin up for better access to kiss her neck.

He kissed his way down towards her shoulder as he pulled the scrap of satin fabric the rest of the way off of her, tossing it to the floor. She was breathing in uneven, shallow breaths. He was pretty sure he'd guessed right - Maggie spent her days being decisive and officious so it stood to reason that what she'd like most is what she never got - totally losing control.

He was going to have to push himself well outside his comfort zone - well outside the usual routine sex he'd had with Elaine. Go against his almost every instinct and lead instead of react.

"Fleischman," she'd found her voice but it was enervated sounding, like she was trying unsuccessfully to moderate her tone and keep it light and sarcastic. "Does this mean you're done asking for a sex ed refresher, then? Because you..." 

His mouth moved back against hers, his tongue in her mouth again, curling against hers, cutting off the rest of what she said. He dropped his body down to lay on top of hers, his left knee nudging its way between hers. As he pushed it between them and down towards the bed, it pushed her legs further open. She moaned against his mouth so he drew his knee higher, his thigh pushing against her center. No matter what happened next, he'd made Maggie O'Connell moan - he could die happy now.

To his utter shock, he could now feel her through her panties, hot and very wet against his upper leg. No way was that possible - they'd only been at this for about three minutes and had only been kissing, at that. He wanted badly to touch her, confirm he'd really had that kind of an effect on her.

His instinct told him to wait until he was asked to touch her, to be sure that's what she wanted. Tonight, though, was about disobeying his every instinct - and he was pretty damn sure of what she wanted. And his ability to resist his impulses was fading next to the amazing sound of Maggie's erratic breathing and quiet moans.

He kissed his way back up her neck to just beneath her ear, positioning her lips next to his ear so he could hear her drawing each wavering breath. As he moved, he slid his hand down her side and then between them, pausing a brief second to gather courage before sliding his fingers inside her underwear. He couldn't believe how turned on she was...or the little noise she made as his fingertips brushed against her. 

Without really knowing where it came from, he heard himself say, teasingly, "I guess you do like how I kiss you." He expected a sarcastic or even irritated reply - but he got something between a moan and a whimper instead. Yeah, he absolutely had her number. If only he could keep this up. And yet, as incredibly out of character and against his own nature his behavior was, it was coming frighteningly naturally to him. And, to his surprise, it was every bit as much the turn on to him as it seemed to be to her.

He teased her with his fingers a few seconds before moving his hand back to rest on her hip. She exhaled frustratedly and he whispered into her ear, "I have a confession for you. I've never been able to do that with my hands. The good news is that I can definitely do that with my mouth. So today's your lucky day. If you can just be patient."

Why was he bragging? Truth be told, he had no idea whether that was true or not. Elaine never let him so much as try. But arrogance had gotten him this far and he might as well keep it up.

"You're such an egotistical jerk, Fleischman. You know that?" He'd never heard her like this - there was almost nothing behind her insult and her tone wavered and faltered as she spoke. 

"I don't think you mean that, Maggie...and you say that like you aren't enjoying this. Which I know isn't true."

He punctuated each pause with an open mouthed kiss to her skin, drawing himself slowly down her neck and across her collarbone. Maggie? Where the hell had that come from?

"Fleischman, you know...you're being really..." she was really straining to sound annoyed but failing. He put his lips back on hers, kissing her again, cutting off the rest of her insult before it came, whatever it was going to be.

"Joel." He said firmly, when he pulled back to look at her. Her eyes opened and met his, widening some at the look in his and his implied demand. Without thinking, he repeated it. "It's Joel right now. Got it?" She'd never called him Joel a day in his life. And he was certainly in no position to make demands of her like that. What the hell was he doing?

She nodded obediently in response, eyes locked.on his, and the corners of her mouth turned up ever so slightly. He just about lost it right then. She was enjoying this! A lot. And he was too. He'd never have guessed it. But between the look in her eyes and the fact he that he obviously had total control over her, he felt something he never had. Elaine would have killed him for this. Shit, until five minutes ago, he would have assumed Maggie would have too. But she had a look in her eyes he'd never seen before and one from which he could tell he was doing everything exactly right. He kissed her again and then started kissing his way down her chest.

His hands moved to her breasts as he kissed between them. He moved his mouth onto her left breast, circling his tongue around her nipple, eliciting another moan. She combed her fingers through his hair affectionately as he moved across her body. The sensation pushed him even closer.

He kissed his way to the other side wondering how long he'd be able to keep this up. He was making it up as he went along, and being dictatorial like this was not something that he had any experience with. His ability to carry on like this was surely going to fail him at some point as things progressed. Plus, and not to put too fine a point on it, but he was really, really close right now. Which, in a certain way, was good news. He knew he absolutely couldn't have sex at this point without it ending quickly. He had to stall for time, distract her when the inevitable happened, and then have time to recharge. He'd already made a threat he was going to have to carry through with, too, which would at least give him adequate cover. He'd never done that before, though, and had no idea how to even begin. He was running out of time, too; his mouth was already halfway down her body and moving lower.

"What are you doing?" Her breathy voice penetrated his thoughts as he kissed past her belly button. 

"I think you know exactly what I'm doing." He sounded much more confident than he felt.

She made that noise again in response. She was going send him over the edge while he did this if she kept making noises like that, which was not going to help his focus any.

He kissed his way to the top of her panties, tucked his fingers inside the top, and pulled them down her legs and then off, tossing them aside on the floor. He slid his left hand up her right inner thigh, panicking internally but trying to seem collected. He had not the faintest idea of how he was supposed to do what he was about to. She made another whimpering sound as his hand slid higher. After all of this build up, he really didn't want to disappoint her. But Elaine had been, he was realizing, incredibly unadventurous, leaving him zero experience upon which to draw. Minus instinct. Instinct had gotten him this far, though, so he figured he'd push ahead and keep hoping for the best.

He kissed her inner thigh gently. Then he kissed higher, with a lingering kiss, his tongue touching the skin of her leg this time.

"Fleischman..." Her voice had a pleading tone to it now. Her right hand was back in his hair, making a fist and tugging it gently. He was dangerously close now. He couldn't let her know that. He frantically tried to think what to say to still sound confident, took a ragged breath, and faked the most forceful voice he could.

"I'm not going to do this for you, Maggie, unless you call me by the right name." What the fuck was that? Everything he said sounded like someone else talking. He'd never dream of taking this tone with her in real life. Or with anyone else for that matter. But especially her. He traced the tip of his tongue up her leg and kissed even higher. Another inch more and he'd be having to make good on what he was implying was happening next. And which he still hadn't the first clue of how to do. Meanwhile he was half convinced she'd sit up and punch him in the mouth before he ever reached his destination, with what he was saying to her.

"Joel..." she was almost purring his name. Somehow his dickishness had worked. Not in any fantasy he'd ever had about her - and he'd had plenty - had she sounded like that. He took a slow breath through his nose to calm down and focus. He heard himself talk again and couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. 

"Ask me nicely, Maggie." Oh fuck - what was wrong with him? She was absolutely going to kill him for this. Playing a little domineering was one thing; making her beg him was on another plane altogether. He braced himself, afraid of what was coming next.

She tugged on his hair and moved his head so his mouth was over her. "Joel...please. ...Please." Holy shit, it worked. It was like she was a different person. He had to go through with this now, competent or not. So he slid his hand the rest of the way up her leg to join his mouth, shook his head disbelievingly, took a deep breath, leaned in, and made contact.

\-----

She'd pegged Joel as a lot of things - some of them fair and some of them not - in the two and half years now they'd known each other. She'd been right quite a bit and wrong here and there. He *was* snobby and self-serving about things, but actually arrogant he was not. She'd finally come to realize he just wanted *her* to think he was superior - he didn't really believe it himself. He was insecure and shy, deep down.

So in the stray moments when she'd pictured them having sex, she'd struggled to guess how it would be between them. Usually, sex for her was with guys who were actually arrogant - guys who thought they were amazing and that surely she'd see it too. Guys who, deep down, she didn't really like all that much, and who felt similarly lukewarm about her. Guys who, consequently, were actually less than amazing in bed.

She'd initially figured Joel for a by-the-book kind of guy but struggled to reconcile that with all that was behind the kiss in the Brick last year. And the look she'd seen flash through his eyes a few times in other close calls they'd had. And with what he'd said he wanted sex to be like - something he clearly hadn't gotten in his time with Elaine. He obviously had hidden depths where passion was concerned, which was intriguing. Even so, when she'd pictured herself with Joel - something that had been happening more and more lately - she'd only been able to picture what she thought she knew. Sex with a less-than-confident guy but one who made up for it by actually feeling something substantive for her, like she did for him. It was usually pretty good, as fantasies go. But it was nothing - but nothing - like this.

He'd taken total control, right from the start. Gentle, but forceful. She'd had no idea she would even tolerate something like that, let alone be reduced to passively moaning and begging, and yet here they were. She currently had her right knee hooked over his shoulder, leg draped down his back, both hands in his hair pulling it hard as his mouth and fingers moved on her. She had no idea what he was doing down there but whatever it was felt incredible. She didn't dare let go of his hair, either, in case he tried to stop.

She'd never considered that he'd be willing to go down on her, either. Exactly once had Rick tried it. After dropping hints she couldn't believe he kept missing, she swallowed her pride and flat out asked him to do it one night. He'd given it the weakest of all possible efforts for maybe fifteen seconds before stopping and concluding it "wouldn't work." It was the same way he had gotten himself out of helping scrub up the dishes - making an effort so halfassed she wouldn't bother to ask him ever again.

Joel, on the other hand, was currently throwing everything he had at doing this, and enthusiastically so. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing and was great at picking up on the scant cues she was able to convey with hair yanks and moaning, honing in closer and closer on what she liked. For as much as she'd been shocked at his sudden self-confidence, he had absolutely earned the right to feel it. 

She felt something building fast inside her and her muscles tensing up. Without even meaning to, she'd clamped her fists closed harder and pulled him to her again.

\-----

Thank God she'd tossed her bathrobe onto the bed before they'd started this. He'd surreptitiously slid his boxers off, piling them on top of Maggie's robe. His lower half was now laying above the pile and not the bedspread which spared the latter from...well, it sufficed to say he was squarely in recharge mode now. The second he'd put his mouth on Maggie, he'd been rewarded with a moan which concealed his as he went up and over the edge.

He fumbled things a few seconds before regaining control of the situation and she hadn't seemed to notice any of it. 

One hand was busy helping his mouth, but the other he had no idea what to do with, so it moved from its perch on her hip back to lay flat against her stomach and then back to her hip again, on a loop. As it lay on her stomach, he felt her abdominal muscles contract suddenly, just as her hands pulled his hair tight enough he thought he'd lose two handfuls of it. He winced in pain but kept going and was quickly rewarded with the dirtiest-sounding rendition of his own name that he'd ever heard, combined with a moan that left him certain he'd achieved his goal. He'd faked his way through this and gotten her to come! Holy shit!

Her hands relaxed and stoked his hair as he pulled back, breathing hard against her right thigh. He had two choices at this point, as best he saw it. He could drop the act and move up to kiss her and make something slow and sensuous of all of this. 

Or. He could double down, take charge, and jump right into phase two before she had any chance to regain her composure. He wiped his mouth on his forearm, took another deep breath, and decided to go that route. Slow could wait a little longer.

\----

Maggie forced herself to relax her hands, suddenly realizing she was probably hurting him quite a bit with as hard as she was pulling. She hadn't meant to and had entirely lost herself there for a bit. She was still coming down from everything when she felt the bed move. Joel appeared above her again, but she was having trouble focusing on his face. He kissed her gently on her lips and then moved to kiss along her jawline and along her neck. She was a little disappointed in the slowing of action, but she figured he deserved a recuperative period. As did she. She'd never come that hard, alone or with someone else. 

So she couldn't have been more surprised when she felt his hands hook under her knees, pulling her towards him. 

"Fleischman? Really? You don't want me to..." She was more than ready for sex but figured she owed him his favor returned first.

She could finally see again; his face was above hers, eyes playful but dark and intense. "Maggie...I know you haven't forgotten..." he said, a teasing but warning tone in his voice that sent a shiver down her spine. 

"Joel," she corrected quickly, without thinking. Damn him. She couldn't believe the power he suddenly had over her, but she wasn't about to do anything to change it, nor did she want to. She liked this feeling - a little nervous, not knowing what to expect next.

He moved his hips between her legs and she suddenly felt him aligned between them. Without saying anything, he grinned at her and pushed himself inside her gently.

It was apparently soon enough after the first one that she hurtled right back over the edge again. This time, she grabbed the sheets below her in her fists and felt her thighs clench around his hips. He was hardly even inside her yet. She usually struggled to have one orgasm during sex, and now she'd shouted his name right through through two, before they'd really even started. He was never going to let her live this down. Her eyes fluttered shut, both to focus on the sensation and because she suddenly felt shy under his watchful gaze.

"Wow," he breathed reverently. He'd paused when she cried out, but now he pulled back and then pushed further forward again slowly. She opened her eyes again and the look reflected in his as he moved inside of her sent a sensation straight through her, compounding the one now slowly fading. She really owed him, though, and if she didn't stop him soon, they'd just skip right over his turn, though. And he was already halfway inside her.

"Joel. Wait..."

He pulled back fast and his eyes looked worried for the first time since they'd started. "Just tell me if you want me to stop." 

She hadn't meant to imply anything like that. "Oh, I don't. I just thought you'd want me to..."

The uncertainty started to disappear from his eyes. "So we're okay?"

"Oh yeah. I just..." His eyes had that look again. "You have more instructions for me...Joel?" She gave him a mocking look.

"Yeah. I want you to watch me while I do this." With that, he pushed forward, entering her completely this time and in one movement. She threw her head back and exhaled hard, closing her eyes. She was still recovering and the feeling of him inside her so quickly almost sent her over the top again.

He was obviously wanting to move, but he stilled himself and kissed her throat and along down her shoulder.

His teeth nipped her skin gently. "You were supposed to keep your eyes open."

As she regained control of herself, she felt feisty. "Why? So I can watch you? You really aren't that interesting, you know."

He pulled himself back up to look in her eyes, his still dark and intense. "You really feel like you're in a position to be defiant with me right now?" He moved inside of her, pulling back and pushing forward again, and she sucked a surprised breath in. "Here I was, being nice and giving you time to recover a little before we started but..." He put his hands on her hips, holding her as he pushed forward again. "This works too. I'm tired of being patient." He moved again. And again. Hard and fast.

\-----

If she came out of this whole thing speaking to him, at this point he'd consider himself lucky. It was like he was watching himself play a role - words were coming out of his mouth that he'd never in a million years imagine saying, especially to her.

Not that he had the option of stopping himself at this point. Nor did it seem like she wanted him to. Once he started moving in her, she'd wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms around his back. She moaned and started kissing his neck and chest. They moved together for several minutes before he realized he was starting to come to the edge of being in control of himself again. Rather than let her see that, he rolled them over. Changing position would probably buy him a little more time, if for no other reason than because they'd stop momentarily. And he really wanted to feel her on top of him. 

She paused a moment, reorienting herself above him. She smirked once she did, finally in her comfort zone.

"What's the matter, Joel? Run out of energy for being bossy finally?"

Like hell he was going to let her flip things on him this close to the end. "Maggie..." he drew her name out pointedly, teasingly, reminding him she'd said Joel without even being prompted to. "I think we both know who's in control, even with you up there. I'll prove it, too. Even if you don't want to watch me, I definitely want to watch you. So...start moving."

Even in the dim lighting of her room, he could see her mouth drop open in response. She looked like she was about to say something, so he thrust his hips up playfully, urging her to move. "Go on," he said, smiling. 

\-----

Never in her wildest imagination would she have pictured Joel like this. He stared smugly up at her, his hands on her hips, and she started to move. She loved being on top usually - mostly because it gave her so much control over sex and whomever she was having it with. Right now, though, Joel had somehow robbed the position of all power. She was basically performing for him while his eyes drifted over her body as she moved. And the scary part was she still loved it. He knew exactly, intuitively what turned her on. More than she did, even.

She'd had no idea sex could be like this. Granted, she lacked experience due to a series of shitty, selfish boyfriends but even still. Before tonight, part of her had thought that if something happened between them it could be - or even should be - a one time thing. This, though... For one, it was a hell of a lot of fun, so there was no way she'd be able to keep from wanting to do it again, if he was willing. And she knew he would be - there was a lot of affection behind everything he did - it's why it felt safe enough to be fun. She'd known she had feelings for Joel, but they were complicated and he was leaving in a few years so she figured even if they gave in and sex ruined everything, at least they'd get to enjoy it once before the inevitable happened. Now, she found herself thinking she'd be willing to overlook quite a lot just to have this happen again. He owned her and they both knew it.

Even now, she was proving him right again - watching him watch her was incredibly hot. He concealed nothing about what he was thinking and was obviously very turned on by what she was doing. His eyes were half-closed, lids lowered, and his mouth parted, breathing shallowly. She leaned forward, trying to get a better angle. Somehow, despite the twice it had happened already, she was really close again, and if she could just get herself in the right position...

\-----

She had to be trying to kill him, or even the score. Without ever breaking eye contact, she was on top of him, twisting and angling herself, teasing him to the point of distraction. He was so close now, he could grab her hips and finish in about five seconds. But he'd cultivated this aura of masterful control about himself that he hated to lose. She had a determined look in her eye that told him she had to be pretty close herself. And he wanted to make her come again. If he rolled them once more, he'd probably be able to last another thirty seconds. Which, now that he knew how to touch her, would be plenty of time. 

"Maggie? Stop."

"No good?" She looked almost like she felt guilty to disappoint him. They were miles apart from their normal roles.

He chuckled. "Believe me, it's really good, but you look like you need help."

He wrapped his arms around her back and rolled them over again. He leaned in to kiss her and stopped short of her lips. "O'Connell?" His voice was soft and unsure again.

"Yeah?" She breathed, eyes opening to look at him, and only then noticing his serious eyes and realizing he'd called her by her last name. "What?"

"Are we...are we going to be okay after this?" Worry was suddenly streaked across his face and reflected in his eyes.

She smiled at him. "I don't know where this all came from inside you, but I think it's pretty clear it's working for me. For both of us. We will be just fine. On two conditions. One, we do this again. Soon."

His face relaxed into a smile as she paused before continuing, looking stern.

"...and two, if you talk to me like this in any other context, I will castrate you. Are we clear?"

"Yes." He kissed her gently on the forehead, pulling onto his forearms to look at her.

"Good. So, Fleischman. You said something about helping me..."

That look flashed back in his eyes again. "You know better. It's Joel. Keep your eyes open this time." And with that, he put one hand on her shoulder and snaked one between them to touch her as he moved hard and fast inside her. 

Thirty seconds turned out to be plenty of time. Ten seconds was plenty. Maggie shuddered and cried out his name again, her nails cutting hard into his shoulder blade as she pulled him to her. Her eyes instinctively clamped closed but she fought to open them to keep looking at him. Upon seeing her look at him with wild and unfocused eyes, Joel's pace became faster and erratic. "Oh God..." the words were almost a growl.

He finally slowed and then stilled. They'd kept eye contact right through to the end. Breathing hard, sanity began to seep back into them as they stared at each other in amazement for a few seconds. He kissed her lips gently and stroked his fingers through her hair.

"Wow, O'Connell. I have never had anything - anything - like that happen. That was...well there's not really words for what that was."

She shook her head, smiling at him. "Indescribable... I mean, that was...well, very different than how I thought that might go with us, that's for sure."

"You're telling me."

"Am I allowed to call you Fleischman again?" She smiled teasingly.

He blushed a little before laying down at her side looking chagrined and apologetic. "O'Connell...I...I am so sorry. I have no idea where any of that came from. You know I don't think of you like..."

"Shut up, Fleischman. We already talked about this. I liked that. A lot. And you more than earned it. You keep that stuff to its proper context and we're fine." She rolled onto her side and laid her arm across his chest. "I never knew you had it in you."

"Me either. I'm actually a little terrified of you. As you know. So...so it was...okay? I mean for you... you, uh, you know...right?"

"Now you're shy?" She laughed. "Yes. Three times. As if you don't know, either. Hey, I'm sorry about your hair. Your back, too "

"My back?"

"I think I dug my nails in pretty hard there at the end - you didn't feel that?"

"Huh. Now that you mention it..." he rolled on his side to have her check him. "Here?" He gestured at where he felt pain.

There were five distinct lines across his upper back, angry and red. Two were redder than the others. "Yikes. Well, you're not bleeding, at least. Still, I'm sorry." She stroked his side after he rolled back to face her. Tiredness finally caught up to her, and she yawned behind her hand. "Really, I am."

"Don't be. I'm sure it's not that bad, and I'll heal. I talked to you like I did and made you beg me. And I never followed through with dinner. We are more even. And you haven't slept in days, so I should probably let you... " He hesitated before kissing her gently instead of finishing his thought and then moved to get up.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh, back to my room. I mean, I figured you..."

"Grab me a t-shirt, will ya?"

"Huh?"

"That white t-shirt you had on earlier, under your dress shirt. I didn't pack anything to sleep in on this trip... By accident, Fleischman," she said in response to his shocked face. "Unlike you, I didn't come here with the plan to get laid."

He disappeared to the other room, surreptitiously removing with him his boxers and robe, tossing them to the far side of his bed. He slid clean boxers and his t-shirt back on and returned to the doorway, tossing her an extra shirt from his luggage. "I even brought you a clean one."

"Thanks." She put it on and jumped out of bed to rifle through her bag for underwear. He stood a moment, awkwardly in the doorway, before turning to go.

She saw his movement out of the corner of her eyes and called out to him as she pulled her panties on. "Fleischman, come back. I'm not kicking you out of bed. Sleep in here."

"You sure?"

She gave him a look. Even shimmying into panties while swimming in his too-big shirt, she was visibly a force to be reckoned with. "After all that just happened, I don't think my reputation - or yours - requires the ruse of us sleeping in separate beds tonight. And anyway, we've slept together before - those two nights in that tent. You're actually nice and warm to sleep next to. If a little jumpy. And too talkative. But we're indoors so..."

"Okay. If you're sure..." He gingerly walked to the side of her bed, pulled back the covers, and started to climb in.

"Stop."

He dropped the blankets abruptly, startling at her sharp tone of voice. 

She laughed. "See? Jumpy. You're scared about every little thing...when before you really, really weren't. No, it's just - that's my side. You can sleep over there." She gestured to the other side of the bed as she came to defend her territory by slipping into bed where he almost had.

"Uh, but this is my side, too. I mean, when I was with someone it was. And I've slept on the left for a long time since. Force of habit." He put his palm on the blanket beside her, hoping she'd slide over.

Her face was placid and smug, telling him she knew she'd already won this one. "Well, it'll be good for you to make a change, then. Anyway, that side is the left, too. Technically. I mean, as you lay on your back it is."

"I don't sleep on my back. I sleep on my side." He looked at her, still waiting for her to slide over and yield. "So if we both want it, how do we decide..."

"I just did. You go over there." She tilted her head to her left. "Take it or leave it." The raised eyebrow sealed it - he'd lost all chance of prevailing.

He walked around the bed, grumbling, "And you balked at the word 'bossy' earlier."

She smiled and turned out the light. 

\-----

He woke before she did the next morning, facing her in the dim morning light. She had her back to him, and he smiled as he noticed how she'd snuggled in. The bedding was pulled around upper body, clear to her shoulders, but her left leg and part of her lower back were entirely exposed, resting on top of the layers of blankets. Hot and cold all at once, somehow. Seemed about right for her.

He checked the time on the digital clock on her bedside table - 6:47. They had hours before their midday departure from Juneau. They could get breakfast together - they'd entirely skipped dinner last night, after all. He didn't want to wake her yet, though, enjoying their proximity and comfort, worried it would end when she woke.

If he weren't laying in bed beside her, he'd have easily assumed last night had been a dream. He still couldn't believe all that had happened between them. He never imagined it could be like that - with her or anyone else. And beyond the physical contact, she'd actually admitted she felt something for him. He never had to - apparently she could read him well enough that she knew. He wasn't sure what that meant next. But like getting to the airport, they had a lot of time to figure it out.

He smiled to himself as he caught sight again of her bare leg, finally noticing the surprisingly girly pink butterfly pattern of her panties. Even with not wanting to wake her, he suddenly couldn't stop himself from tracing his finger gently along their edges.

She stirred next to him. "You gonna grope my ass until I wake up, Fleischman?"

"Not groping. Just looking. Sorry." He lifted his hand away from her hip. She loosed the blankets from around her shoulders and slid backwards until her back was against his chest, pulling her leg back under the blanket.

"I didn't tell you you had to stop." She found and caught his hand with hers. Lacing their fingers together, she pulled it underneath the blankets and back down to rest against her hip again. "If I minded being groped by you, we would have had a very different night than we did last night."

"I do like your butterflies..." he said, kissing her shoulder.

"Huh?"

His fingers traced the fabric covering her hip again. "These. I would have never guessed Maggie O'Connell has pink butterfly underwear..." He kissed just beneath her ear this time.

"Shut up, Fleischman."

"I'm not mocking - it's very hot. Very. Are we okay?"

"As long as you understand that if you tell anyone you've seen my underwear, you will die. Painfully."

"I didn't mean..."

"I know what you mean," she said quietly. She paused several seconds before saying. "Look. We've got one month."

"What?"

"We give this a month. And if it's awful, we agree to forget anything ever happened. And if it's okay, we'll do another month and discuss it again after that. See where things stand then. Add another month if it's still fine."

"Are we...dating? In this incremental approach you've laid out?" Joel knew Maggie hated labels and formal rules, but he had a hell of a time operating without them. He needed to have some clue of what she intended. 

"I guess. For now. If you don't make a big deal out of it." Her voice was artificially blase - through it, he could hear her struggle with what she didn't want to say to him quite yet. She needed time to be okay with this. He probably did, too. And as long as he was sure of the general area they were in, he could live for awhile within the space between definitions.

"Fair enough. So we'll just treat each other like a library book that we keep renewing?"

"You're assuming I'll opt to renew, Fleischman. Which is far from a guarantee."

He pushed her hip and shoulder flat to the bed and put his knee across her thighs, climbing above her to kiss her lips. "That's how you're gonna play it, huh? Okay." His eyes had a decidedly indelicate sparkle to them. "Let's see how long you can pretend you don't like this."

She faltered a little in sounding annoyed and wore a less than convincing glare. "What are you doing now?"

"Well, I wanted this time to be slower and a little less salacious...but if I only have a month..." He pulled her shirt off over her head and tossed it to the floor before sliding his hands up her body and kissing the base of her throat.

She laughed a little, curling the fingers of her right hand through his hair. With her left, she struggled with pulling his shirt off, as he kissed along her collarbone. "Wait. Sit up a second - help me take this off of you."

He sighed audibly, frustrated at their sudden clumsiness, before leaning to the side on his elbow while she yanked his shirt partially off. 

"Ouch! Um, O'Connell? This is exactly the wrong way to do this. My arm's stuck now."

Before he knew what was happening, he was on his back, one arm pinned beneath him and the other pinned against him by his shirt. She was smirking down at him, straddling his hips.

"I know. But I'm afraid it's Maggie right now, to you, Joel. And it's your turn to beg..."


End file.
